When
by hoity-toity
Summary: Its been 9 yrs. They grew up together and shared the whole shebang. One night changed everything. Now their orbits cross again and truths are revealed. Is it possible to reconcile the past and more importantly the present. Language & delicious lemon tarts
1. When shall we meet again

Disclaimer….i own nuttin'When… When shall we meet again…

It was her.

It was unmistakable.

My entire being was flooded with so many emotions. Anger seemed to be at the forefront. Resentment, hate and bitterness rippled down my spine. Yet I also couldn't deny that deep down low twinge that she could always elicit from me.

Fuck it has been so long. Its not fair that she could make me feel that at all. Especially when she didn't even know I was in the same room as her, let alone looking or god forbid touching me.

What was she even doing here? I vividly recalled her zero tolerance on all things that fell under the category of sports. And yet, she spent all those years trailing after those lacrosse fucktards. Fuck me that shithead had better not have been photographed for this.

I began scanning the room quickly but saw no sign of him. My eyes drifted back to Bella. She was still standing in front of my picture. 20 celebrities from the sporting world had participated in this photographic campaign to raise awareness for mental illnesses. The concept behind the photographs was brilliant. You couldn't tell who the main subject was in each, and yet Bella had been staring at mine for so long that I thought she must know.

Suddenly a man appeared next to her and bent to whisper in her ear. She froze for an imperceptible moment and then her body seemed to move into a defensive posture and she stepped away from him.

I felt a pain in my palms and realised I had been digging my nails in hard.

What was he doing here if his brother wasn't a part of this campaign?

'Well ain't she a purtee lil thang. Found your dessert have you? I must say that is one mighty fine ass.'

'Shutup Peter'

'Hey, I happen to know that delicious looking cupcake is here alone so boy you'd better get over there before that wanker steals the show'

I turned to look at Peter. 'Alone?'

'Mmmm….but "off the market"' he trilled in a ridiculous tone.

'You already hit on her you bastard?'

'Hey I'm not some nancy boy douche who will stand behind a plant and stare like creep at her for the better part of two hours'

I managed to refrain from socking him on the jaw and turned my gaze again to Bella. Garret was gone and she looked quite off balance. Not a good thing for her at best of times. I downed the last of my whiskey and with a slap on the back from Peter I strode towards Bella.

'Like it?' I murmured.

She almost jumped a mile and her eyes darted around giving the impression of a cornered and scared animal. She looked for a moment like she would try to hit me or bolt when she did a double take.

'Jasper?……'


	2. When it all started

Still own nothing

It all started when...

9yrs ago

I kept my eyes on my page.

My foot lifted and I slyly stroked my toes against the ticklish spot behind his knee. I tried to ignore the fizzle of electricity that the contact elicited.

"Bella!"

His glasses slipped down his nose and I giggled. He sighed exasperatedly at me.

"Have you been listening at all?"

"Every word doofus"

"Well show me your answer for question 2"

I kept my eyes down as they widened and I could feel the laughter bubbling up inside me so I pressed my lips together and pinched my leg in a vain attempt to keep it in.

I pushed my folder towards him and let loose the giggled when he huffed in annoyance.

"I don't think the lyrics to 'Guns Of Brixton' are going to help you tomorrow in you're a-m-e-r-i-c-a-n History final Bella." I smiled, he was so easy to rile up. I reached over and flipped the page to reveal my perfect answer.

He sighed exasperatedly again, like I was the most frustrating and obtuse conundrum known to man. It was quite funny to see how far I could push his immeasurable composure.

God knew what he was doing here with me.

We had been friends for a long time. It was natural I suppose. There weren't a whole lot of us 'from the wrong side of the tracks' kids at our school. But I was always dreaming of something greater. I longed for the day when I could leave this shitty little town where our phone got disconnected every other month and I had to take 3 buses to get to my school. I dreamed of a large and light house by the water in the sun. And having the money to do all that. My 'other' friends were the ones who were going to take me there.

I was like a project to them in some ways, a living, breathing doll to manipulate and abuse in others.

God knew what he was doing here with me.

He was only a year older than me but he seemed so innocent. He was too good for a used up whore like me but he seemed immune to the constant whispers about me. Everyone else around our neighbourhood knew to stay well away. I was a bad girl. He was sweet and generous, too much so for his own good. He knew everything about me and yet he was still by my side, always defending me and currently, resolutely, trying to pull me through the final stages of school.

"Well what about the next part?....Bella?" He looked up when I didn't answer.

"Why don't you have a girl Jasper?"

There was the sigh again and in an immeasurable moment I knew unequivocally why Jasper didn't have girlfriend. We stared for what seemed hours. His eyes were the most divine fixation I had ever had. It brought a smile to my lips whenever I thought of them. They were deep and dark, like you were seeing into the very depths of his soothing and gentle soul and in turn he was filling you with all the calm and goodness he possessed.

My foot of its own volition trailed further up his leg and I heard a sharp inhale.

His golden gaze intensified.

"Bella?". His hand stretched out to my face and traced my cheek somewhat awkwardly and then trailed shakily to my lips. He pushed a lock of hair behind my ear and cupped my cheek. The reverential way he stared at me made me want to cry. No one had ever looked at me like that. I was worthless, not someone to be cherished. Just to be used. He knew he should stay away but here he was. I loved him so much. I had no right to despoil him but I was helpless against his sweetness.

Impulsively I half stood and slowly stretched over the table. My lips touched his and I traced his seam with my tongue. He moaned deep and low and I felt it go through my body, straight to my groin. He also stood and walked around to my side of the table. He took my face in his hands and looked at me with such tenderness that the urge to weep became almost crushing.

"Bella"

Our lips came together again.

This time it was more heated and forceful.

His hands stayed sifting in my hair and he held his body tight away from me. I broke away when air became an issue and took his hands in mine and led him to his bed.

I looked at it pointedly and then turned to him. "Bella….do you want….?"

"Shhhh……"

"You're so beautiful Bella. I lo…I know you're with Alec but you deserve better than that. We don't have to do anything. I understand, you don't really want.."

"Shhhh…"

He truly was the most sensitive soul. I knew if anything were to happen it would have to come from me. He was so innocent and would never presume to push me.

I sat him down on the bed and straddled his lap. I felt his arms come around me and come to a stop on my waist.

I felt my heart stammering in my chest, almost completely overwhelmed by the adoration he was bestowing on me. I did not deserve it; I knew that without question but didn't pull away.

As our lips touched again I completely forgot why I would never deserve Jasper and his love.

He nipped at my lips a bit clumsily and I didn't care at all. In all other things he moved with grace. For now I had enough experience to get us both through this. I traced the seam of his lips again and pressed the length of my body against his. With a gasp he opened his mouth and I delved inside. He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth and suckled intently. He let me take the lead, groaning as I tangled my fingers through his shaggy locks and urged him down onto the bed.

I wanted him to blanket my body with his so desperately but I needed to continue leading him, so I reached down and slowly undid both our jeans. I parted my legs over his and kissed him deeply. I took his hands in mine and moved them from my waist down and under my top and he broke our kiss with a breathy moan at this contact with my skin. His hands tightened slightly but didn't move so I slowly trailed them across my belly and towards my bra.

His breathing was so heavy and I could feel his excitement, hard and thick, pulsating where I needed it between my legs. I left his hands softly kneading on my bra and reached behind my back to release my bra. As my breasts came free of their confinement he bucked up his hips as me stroked over my nipples and pushed my top up further so he could see me breasts.

"Oh Bella, you're so perfect"

His mouth was swollen and his eyes hot and unfocussed. I whimpered as his strong fingers moved over my breasts and brought my nipples to rock hard peaks. I parted my legs more so my groin came to settle more deeply on his and we both gasped at the pressure.

Our hips moved against each others more and more desperately and there was no doubt that he desired me as much as I him. But for how many times I had been in this position I felt slightly at a loss. Too many times I had simply given in to the needs of the warm body on top of me. Knowing it was easier than pushing them away, also knowing they would give me what I needed to get smashed and forget my pain. But all those nebulous and debasing memories were a remote impression.

Here and now, I was desired. I was wanted so desperately. I could truly give Jasper something special.

He was so hard and as I pushed my hand into his jeans, I felt the moisture beading at the head of his cock . I grasped him carefully and he made a helpless whimper. I was sure that this was the first time anyone had touched him like this.

I finished shimmying out of my tight jeans and moved my panties out of the way. I guided him to my entrance moving the tip of his cock against my clit. We both grunted and I moved him down and then inside my primed body. He grunted and moved his head against my neck and clamped down with his teeth. Instinctively he pushed further into me until me couldn't go any further.

There was a steady stream of groans and whimpers coming from him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rolled us so he was moving over me. As I stroked my hands down his back he shuddered convulsively and began to move in me. I brought his head up to mine and rooted for his mouth. I drew his tongue into my mouth and suckled as I shifted my legs to wrap around his hips.

He pushed my top up further and kissed over my chest to suckle at my nipples. My hands slipped under his t-shirt and dug into his upper back. He moved back and forth between my breasts and his movements became faster and more erratic.

I let out a loud moan that turned into his name as I arched up and clamped my muscles around his searing flesh pumping in and out of me.

He let loose a strangled cry, quivering and thrusting violently once more as he went rigid and spilled inside me. A moment later he slumped heavily on me. Normally I would have shoved the one on top of me off and left as quickly as I was allowed. But this, this was different. I welcomed his weight, the feeling of him laying heavily between my legs, his softening cock still inside me. I breathed in his rich and musky scent, pure and clean sweat, not tainted by anything. I ran my fingertips over his scalp and through his beautiful blonde hair as I waited for him to regain that consummate composure.

What seemed like an eternity later he lifted his head and I was horrified to see the tear tracks.

"Bella. I love you" he barely whispered.

He rolled us and wrapped his arms around me tightly so he was spooning me from behind. He shifted against he and threw a leg over my hip and pinned my arms against my breasts. I felt him nuzzle into the nape of my neck and shudder.

"I love you" he whispered again.

I stared blindly across the room, tears of self-loathing such as I had never felt before slipped down my cheeks.

I heard his breathing quickly even out as he feel into a deep sleep. What had I done? I cried until there was nothing left inside of me and a deep calm settled over me. A feeling so complete I could only attribute it to the perfect creature holding me tight. The truth was Jasper didn't know me. He put me on a pedestal and loved me. But maybe, just maybe Jasper could see who I truly was. I would let him. And he would still embrace me.

I felt like a weight was lifting from my chest and for what seemed like the first time in my life there was a dim light at the end of the tunnel.

* * *

Years later I would wonder how my cynical, abused and battered self could still have retained that much naiveté.


End file.
